come back stronger than a powered up pac man

One great thing about working for a publishing house is that you begin to realize exactly how much of the world is run on money. For instance, I had always thought that in BN, the way books are placed--that is, at which tables, on which front shelves--was based primarily on how much the booksellers liked it, or think it would sell. However, as it turns out, the publishers actually have to pay a certain amount of money to get the front tables, and the prime locations, and it's all so very disenchanting to me. Apparently, it's the same for their website too and what appears on the home page. It makes me think whether or not the tomato farmers strike a deal with ShopRite to put their produce out in front...which may actually explain why they constantly move things around and confuse the shit out of me.

The whole money thing is actually kinda scary now that there's only one more year before graduation. I think, overall, that the most important thing is just to be independent--to not use any of my parents' money and finally be in control of myself. With the whole Pton bubble and overprotection thing, even booking my plane tickets this week has felt like a liberating experience. I'm still kinda freaking out about having to figure out the flight stuff alone though, but there's no way I could get lost, right? As long as I'm not retarded and miss the flight, I think I'm good.

Most of all, I'm just happy I have something to look forward to this summer. Instead of worrying about money, I can just think about a different kind of investment, and a lot more interesting one at that. Psychological studies show that the human brain is a lot better equipped to regret things that we've done, and not for things that we haven't done--which is to say it's easier for us to justify doing something wrong than not doing it at all. This may, of course, be just another way for me to rationalize my semi-impulsive behavior and tendency to jump head-first into things without thinking. Still, I wouldn't have it any other way because that would be boring, and I've had enough of that, ha.